Beeping from my alarm clock stirs me from my all-too-short slumber. I pound the snooze button before burrowing underneath my favorite blanket. Fatigue creeps through my body and gently shuts my eyes for five more minutes . . .
Here I am in the bathroom, staring at someone who looks more like Albert Einstein than Ashton Clark Moyer. Galaxies swirl in front of me as I scrub my eyes with my fists. “I don’t want to go back to school,” I mutter as I lace my toothbrush with minty paste. Rabies foam surrounds my lips and splashes against the porcelain bowl on the counter. Emulsified cleanser and creamy moisturizer soothe my face and promise that maybe, just maybe, I can conquer the day.
I throw my books and supplies into my backpack until it’s bursting at the seams. The burden of existence coincides with the weight of overpriced notebooks and textbooks, keeping my visits to the chiropractor frequent. Coffee’s piquancy scratches my olfactory system as it drips into my cup with a soft ting, ting, ting￼￼￼￼; smooth, sweet coffee trickles down my throat, warms me from the inside out, and strengthens my determination to make it through the day.
On the way to school, I wonder how I’m supposed to be able to do this every day. Music plays over the chaos happening in my brain: I have a quiz due tonight—oh, wait, I have to read before I can take it . . . when am I going to have time to do that? What am I going to wear tomorrow? And the next thing I know, I’m on campus.
The busyness of classes captivates me, and I’m immersed in my textbooks and lectures. I leave my last class of the day exhausted, wondering how I’m ever going to survive socializing at work. Then, I walk through the door at the office, and I’m rejuvenated by the atmosphere. People talking on the phone, inside jokes and laughter filling the room, and the smell of popcorn wafting from the snack room.
Essential Science looms over my head as I work. How on earth am I supposed to pass a class that has a 5 percent mortality rate? Anyway, I’m not here to complain; I already did that to my boss at work. You see, my coworker and I have both reached the ends of our ropes with this class, which has definitely influenced our attitudes at work. My boss quietly, but sternly, looked us both in the eyes. With love in her voice, she said, “God is allowing you to go through Essential Science so that you can overcome greater trials in life. Instead of allowing Satan to destroy you, using something as silly as a class, allow God to show His strength in you. Turn the class over to Him, and let it go.”
Her words hit me like an angry sibling hits his brother. I’m sitting on my bedroom floor, trying to finish writing this paragraph. Exhaustion has found its way into my weak frame. I haven’t been trusting God to get me through Essential Science or any of my other classes, really. However, I can rest knowing that God is in control. He cares about my test grades, my daily struggles, and the petty encounters that get me bent out of shape on a daily basis. So, I’ve decided that I need to trust more. Will I be perfect in trusting my Creator? No. Will it take effort? Yes. But God gives grace and strength.
I’ve been reading Psalms recently, and one verse that really stood out to me is Psalm 42:11, which says, “Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope thou in God: For I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.” Wow. What a relief that God cares for me, and I don’t have to be discouraged! No matter my grade in Essential Science, British Literature, or Human Growth and Development, God’s abilities outweigh my mortal ones. What a comfort that I can use His strength when I’ve depleted my own!