Now I See

No darkness covered my own eyes; the darkness was within.

A bitter, cold, unwavering mass that was my covered sin.

Every crevice filled with black, each thought perfused with ebony,

These thoughts collecting in a whole, preposterous cacophony.

Then that day, a wondrous day, when this cruel darkness fled.

The warm embrace of my Savior God as to the cross He led.

“See this blood; now see your dark, my blood will wash away.

No stain, no dark, no stumbling stone, can ever my love sway.”

Yet as a honeymoon phase, it faded; I couldn’t quite understand

How such a perfect God can love the hopeless, trembling man.

What can I give to infinite God? What riches can I offer?

These filthy hands that only add to useless, earthly coffers.

Then that night, a terrible night, as hope turned into fear.

Failure.

Worthless.

Unloved one.

Wrapped in cruel fragility.

The darkness crept back within my mind; so chilled was its embrace.

“Look who came crawling back to me; this light, we must erase.

You really thought you were worthy of love? Dear, all you have is me.

Filthy, ugly, worthless thing. One day, you’ll finally see.”

But this foul voice had a different sound; no more did I hear the pity.

Instead, the harsh cacophonous voice had shed all sense of morality.

I lifted my eyes; such wonderous love in God, my sole desire.

I lowered my eyes and saw within the dark, a cheat and a blatant liar.

“Forgive me, Lord.” I wept, “Forgive! I’ve failed and cannot stand.”

That quiet voice resonates within, “I know. My child, I understand.

Look back upon my cross, and see that blood was shed for you.

Unconditional, changeless grace was always in your view.”

Then that day, a wonderous day, as fear turned into hope.

Worthy.

Loved.

Forgiven in all.

Now, I finally see.